My Situation

MY SITUATION: CAN YOU HELP?

In order to fully comprehend my situation, you have to know that I am an American and my husband is Saudi. Our marriage was arranged by my husband’s best friend and his wife. To me, I do not think of my husband as a Saudi but as a Muslim. And when I decided to marry him, it was for his deen. So it hurts when I think about whoever designed the law that Saudis must first get permission from their government to marry the foreign love of their life. It has caused pain and hardship to myself and other couples. Is that Islamic? If you think so, present your proof from the Qur’an and Sunnah that shows where Allah ta’ala and His Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed people from different nations to only marry within their tribes or get approval from the government/ruler first before marrying outside of their tribe.

I’m usually a private person and was hesitant to create this post. After consulting my husband, I’ve decided to publicize our story and leave the rest to Allah.

After I married my husband, I stayed in Bahrain and he went back to live and work in Jubail. He would commute between Jubail and Manama as often as he could every month. We were married June 2002 and my husband started our marriage permission process October 2002. In 2003, I got pregnant so my husband told the Ministry of Interior in the hopes that they would expedite our approval. They did not so he tried again after our son Omar was born and they still didn’t.

By October 2004 I had to quit my job due to visa problems and also because I had enough of Bahrain financially and emotionally. I had to go to the American Embassy to help me get tickets to the US and out of my visa problems in Bahrain. Alhamdulillah they came through for me on both, even though I had to pay them back for the tickets after I reached the US in December 2004. I stayed with my non-Muslim mom and sister in St. Louis until I could get a visa to KSA.

Around October 2005 our marriage permission was approved alhamdulillah. I began the visa process with the Saudi Embassy in Washington, DC. I was granted the visa in July or August 2006 and moved to Riyadh September 2006.

When my husband tried to transfer my visa over to an iqama at the Passport Office in Riyadh, they wouldn’t accept our marriage certificate since it hadn’t been authenticated and stamped by the Saudi Embassy in Washington, DC. The Saudi Embassy wouldn’t acknowledge it was their fault and nobody from the Saudi government will hold them accountable.

The Passport Office told my husband to get a new marriage certificate from the Marriage Court in order to finish my iqama and Omar’s papers. When my husband went to the Marriage Court, the shaykh didn’t think the copy of our marriage permission approval from the Ministry of Interior was sufficient so he demanded my husband get our entire file from them! The Ministry of Interior refused to do this as they don’t do this kind of procedure and furthermore its a highly confidential file that even a shaykh has no right to request. My husband has since been back to the shaykh on two other ocassions but he keeps getting blown off through the people around the shaykh. Naturally, this made my husband very angry because a shaykh is supposed to be more reasonable and just. We know of no daleel from Qur’an or Sunnah that would prevent us from acquiring a new marriage certificate. QadrAllah wa maa shaa’ fa’ala. We are still trying to find ways around this and search for a wasta (unfortunately it has come to that point) but I think my husband has reached his limit.

Now that you know, how can you help us?

Any advice and information is welcome, including du’as, and I thank you in advance.

Tara Umm Omar
islamisno1@yahoo.com
taraummomar@gmail.com