A Saudi-American Family’s Love For Their Son And A Plea For Help With His Autism

In these days of advanced technology and unceasing progression in the world of medicine, there is no cure for autism. But perhaps that is because no one has yet to discover the cure. Muslims learn that if there is a disease then there is a cure for it*. Parents with autistic children should not give up hope and seek behavioral/cognitive/medical intervention to the best of their ability as they never know where the cure lies.

However that is easier said than done because of the ridiculous expense of treatments and insurance companies not willing to foot the bills. Some parents are overwhelmed by these obstacles and give up. Not Abu and Umm Sinan! They are a Saudi-American couple whose son, Sinan, was diagnosed with autism. They asked me if I could help publish their story to appeal for financial assistance to jump start Sinan’s ABA therapy and I agreed to do so for the sake of Allah. May Allah cure Sinan quickly and completely ameen.  Tara Umm Omar

We appreciate all of the help. We have been hoping, Insha’Allah, that the issue goes kind of “viral” and gets taken up by news sources. That and we are hoping the laws are changed here FORCING the insurance companies to cover therapy for children with autism.

Having a child with special needs is hard on any family.  I have included a link that talks about a study that says stress levels of mothers of a children with Autism match those of soldiers who have been in combat.  I think this effects the entire family, mother and father, as well as other members of the family who are “typically developing”.  Divorce rates are very high in families with special needs children so it is clear that stress levels tend to have a tremendous negative impact on the family.  We try hard to work through things, sometimes we do better than other times, Alhamdulillah.

This is compounded by the fact that in many places it is hard or impossible to get the necessary medical and therapeutic care for your child.  It is impossible to describe the feeling knowing that there is a treatment out there that can help your child, but that most insurance don’t cover it and it is far too expensive for all but the richest people to afford on their own.

Living in the KSA wouldn’t be an option for us because of Sinan’s condition.  Programs for children with Autism in Saudi are few and far in between.  Some of these we have seen are as expensive as they are here in the USA and often rely on outdated methodology and treatments.  It goes deeper than that.  Saudi society, and Middle Eastern societies in general, are not very welcoming to people with special needs.  We lay this at the foot of ignorance and miseducation.  My wife always relates a story about when she lived in Saudi.  She remembers going to this nice villa and seeing an attractive young girl chained to a column in the living area.  When she later enquired it turned out that the family thought she was “possessed by Jinn (spirits)”.  When my wife was going to university to get her degree in psychology it became clear to her that the girl was probably just mildly retarded, or even had Autism.  That isn’t a society that I’d want to raise my son in.  We’ve known other families in Saudi who had children with special needs who actually picked up and left the country for these same reasons.**

As to things we’ve learned about having a child with Autism, they are many.  One of them that sticks out is how nothing is perfect except Allah.  When we look at our son physically, we say “Masha’Allah, he is tall, thin and attractive, yet he has this condition that will effect him for the rest of his life”.  Our love for him is unconditional and although we have to work very hard with him and things are never easy, we say Alhamdulillah, because this is our trial from God and there are many out there who have it much harder than we do.  So we do what we can and pray that it is enough.

Sinan is four and he has a little brother Sayf, who is three.  Autism just doesn’t touch the person with the condition or their parents, it touches the entire family.  I remember the first time Sayf said to me “Daddy, Sinan cannot hear us” and I had to explain, with tears in my eyes, that his brother heard us perfectly well but didn’t and couldn’t talk.  Sayf has actually taken the role of the big brother and we encourage him to interact with Sinan, engage with him in games and play and to talk to his brother as much as possible.  As children with Autism don’t automatically understand the value of peer play, communication and the like, we have to encourage it as much as possible.  We are blessed that Sayf, as a little brother, has really helped in this fashion and constantly thinks of his big brother in everything he does.  Sayf might be three, but in helping his older, he has taken the role of a much older brother.

If you would like to help Sinan, please click here.

JazakumAllahu khair (thank you!)

*It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has not sent down any disease but He has also sent down a cure for it.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5678.

**Nzingha is an American married to a man from Saudi. Her son, Umar, has Down’s Syndrome and she knows first hand how it is to live with a special needs child in Saudi Arabia. She cautions against bringing any child with special needs to live in Saudi Arabia: “I would suggest that any family that is seeking proper care, opportunities and resources for any child with a disability to not come to Saudi or Bahrain for that matter. Saudi has nill when it comes to proper care and facilities. Most of the times good intentions will bring about a private school that start off well, but within two years, after teachers contracts run out than the facility goes down the tubes and often times is more harmful to a child with special needs. Unqualified staff who are short on knowledge, patience or even a caring attitude turn out angry frustrated children. Also the cultures over all attitude when it comes to children with autism is enraging. If a childs problems aren’t ignored completely there is blame of a ”curse’ put on the parents. There is a huge stigma for such children it is just a difficult thing for them to deal with.I would suggest if a couple is determined to come to this area, go to Qatar they have a very good school for autistic children and a more active approach when it comes to caring for the children.”

Beautiful Dream Of A Brother Who Suffered From Eczema

“I SUFFERED FROM ECZEMA”

This is a true story of a Muslim brother who suffered from eczema, had low self-esteem about the way he looked, was not confident in getting a wife and had an amazingly beautiful dream that insha’Allah will be a comfort to him in this world and come true for him in the next world ameen. Tara Umm Omar

Since I was born I suffered from Exema [Eczema] on my hands and arms and now I am 22 years of age and still suffering from such disease. Alhamdulelah it goes for a while but it comes back infected and inflamed.

I always looked around me and saw other people’s hands and arms in perfect condition and I would go back home and cry so much that my tears would fill a bucket. I was bullied so much in Secondary School because of my Exema and I was treated like dirt and abused because of my belief in Islam. One day in class I cried for over an hour my eyes stung because of the class saying abusive things to me and the teacher did NOTHING because he hated my faith which was apparent.

Since I was small I always held the Quran each night and begged Allah for my suffering to end. Even as I write this my eyes are full of tears.

As I grew up my passion to marry grew. I always wanted to have a child to raise for the mercy of Allah. But because of my suffering from Exema that always stopped me from marrying.

One day in College I saw a really beautiful Sister in Hijab from Lebanon (I think) and I wanted to marry her, but because of my Exema I thought she would not want to even look at me. By Allah, through Halal ways she rejected me which I feel in my heart was because of my hands.

I feel so alone sometimes. I suffer SO much that I cannot go outside unless my sleeves of my shirt cover most of my hands. I cannot make Salat in the Masjid without worrying that someone is going to look at my hands and not want to shake them or that they will give me a bad look. I cannot eat outside or be with my friends without feeling worried that they are going to see my hands.

When I do Wudu with water, my hands sting so much I cry. After Wudu I will make my Salat trying to blot out the pain that I am going through with my hands.

I feel no Muslim Sister will ever marry me but I try to keep strong about it. My only wife I want is a wife of Paradise. I wish I was with Prophet Ayub (AS) as he suffered alot and I would not feel alone as he would be with me worshiping Allah.

My only dream now is to work hard and to die only for Allah.

Please Brothers and Sisters of Islam make Du’a for me and for all Muslims suffering from illness’s that they keep strong.

I take this as a blessing from Allah as Allah tests those whom he truly loves.

About three year ago I was sinking into severe depression. I was suffering so much and everything was just sinking deeper and deeper. I would stay up every night just worshipping Allah, begging him for mercy and help.
I really thought that Allah abandoned me and hated me.

Then one summer was a summer I would never forget. For six weeks in a row I had dreams that words would never be able to describe in 100% detail.

The dreams are too much to mention. But one of the first
was when I was standing on a red land, and then two Muslim men with large dark beards approached me. They asked me do I want to see Hell? I said to them yes. They smiled and I then followed them.

In front of me was like a Hugh head with a wide open mouth. I can still picture this in my mind but I can never really describe it as it was so detailed. We went through its mouth and in it were all types of chambers of black fire. I saw people lying on their bellies on beds of spikes penetrating though their bodies while they were screaming.

Another chamber I saw people being crushed again and again in fire.

Another I saw their limbs being pulled off.

After a few more chambers we left and one of the Muslim’s said to me, “Is your life worse than what you saw?” I said, “By Allah, no.”

The best dream is of Prophet Muhammad (salla Allaahu ‘alayhi wa salaam). In the dream I was sitting in a dark room crying. Suddenly a gold door appeared in front of me. The door said to me, “Don’t cry and come inside.”

When I went in, I was in such a beautiful garden. There were all sorts of flowers and different coloured streams of water and honey. I heard laughing and talking further on, so I walked through this garden, and each step I took the garden just got more beautiful and different in colour. I saw a really bright gold table with food I have never seen before on this table. There were sweets and different shapes of fruit on the table. There were also crystal cups with drinks with at least 100 different shades of colour.

Sitting around the table were all extremely handsome looking Muslims. I saw one Muslim holding a staff in his right hand so I was thinking that could be Musa (‘AlyheeSalaam), and then another Muslim I saw with long wavy hair with pearls falling from his head, so I was thinking that was ‘Isa (‘AlyheeSalaam). There were at least 100 Muslims around this table. At the head of the table a Muslim turned around and faced me. Mashahallah I will never forget his face. His eyes were darker than black pearls and there was a beautiful light shining from his face. As he smiled at me I felt this warmth and this sweet smelling musk go over my body.

He said Salam to me and called me by my full name. I asked him who he was. He said, “I am the final Messenger of Allah and my name is Muhammad Ibn Abdullallah (salla Allaahu ‘alayhi wa salaam). I want you to sit next to me.”

A gold chair appeared next to him so I sat there facing him. He took my hand in his hand. It felt so warm and nice. He said something that even made me cry in my sleep. He said, “Dont cry because of the hardships of this life. Cry for the forgiveness of Allah. Don’t cry and feel sad for Allah will never leave you alone to suffer. He is with the believer who calls his name. He smiles to the believer who repents. He loves the believer who runs to him in struggle. And on The Day that is coming, you will see how much love and comfort He gives to those Muslims who suffered for Him.”

I closed my eyes and then I woke up with tears all down my face.

I Met Uwais Al-Qarni

I MET UWAIS AL-QARNI

“I ignored him in the beginning of our meeting, but carried his shoes at the end!!”

Our beloved brother Shaykh ibn ‘Abd Al-Ghani narrates the following story in the Arabic forum.

He [May Allah Preserve him] writes:

“The story of Uwais Al-Qarni was mentioned in Sahih Muslim as well as in other books. Now even though he was from the Tabi’een and did not see the Messenger [Salah Allahu Alaihi wa salam], the Messenger [Salah Allahu Alaihi wa salam] had advised ‘Umar ibn Al-Khatab [Radiya Allahu ‘Anhu] that if he meets [Uwais] then he, ‘Umar, should ask [Uwais] to ask Allah to forgive him and to make supplication for him.

Thus ‘Umar [May Allah be pleased with him], during his Caliphate, used to ask all the delegates coming from Yemen: ‘Is Uwais among you?’, until finally during one of the years he met him. He found him a man not among the nobles of his people; nobody cares much for him, even those accompanying him, sidelined. So ‘Umar told him about the advice Prophet Muhammad gave him and asked Uwais to ask Allah the Exalted to forgive him. When ‘Umar discovered that Uwais was headed to Al-Kuffa he offered to write a letter to his assistant over there, so that he treats him with hospitality. However, Uwais refused and requested that ‘Umar doesn’t do that. He explained his request that he would love to live as an unknown among the people (the story is summarized and mentioned from memory).

Now, I do not claim that I met that Noble Tabi’ee himself; rather I met a man from his school. A man following in the same footsteps of Uwais, and here is my story with him.

During one of the Fridays of Ramadan, I left my house to give the Friday Khutbah in one of the Masjids of Al-Jam’iyah Al-Shar’eyah in Cairo. While riding my car my clear white Thawb (dress worn by men in Arab countries) got stained with a black spot. That really upset me. I asked myself, ‘How could I stand in front of the people giving the Khutbah when this spot had stained my elegant dress?’ I left the car and headed towards the Masjid. During my walk I passed by a store that had a big mirror at its entrance. I stood in front of it fixing my clothes and making sure my head covering is placed properly. I then continued to the Masjid.

I reached the Masjid, but the issue of the stain was still bothering me. The entrance of the Masjid had a few beggars standing there. They usually stand there during this blessed month, each of them with a story that he uses to gain the sympathy of the people going to pray. I didn’t give them much attention and entered the Masjid. I climbed the Minbar quickly, hoping that no one would get a chance to see the black spot that stained my dress in the car.

I delivered the Khutbah, and then we prayed. After prayers, I leaned my back at a pillar that was next to the Qiblah, and I stretched my legs to relax.

Now Egyptians usually go and shake the hands of the Imam after the prayers making supplications for him. I started shaking their hands while being seated in the same manner, and replied to their supplications by nodding my head up and down. I was really exhausted at this time because of the hot weather and the fasting.

At that point, I noticed a blind man crossing the lines with extreme difficulty, asking to reach the Shaykh (referring to me). Nobody was paying attention to his request, rather some of them were waving their hands in an annoyed manner since the blind man used to [unintentionally] come in contact with them while crossing the lines. The caretaker of the Masjid took his hand and brought him to me. I looked at him, and saw that his clothe were worn-out. He had the appearance of a person that if he greets others they would not reply back to him, and if he speaks no one would care about what he said. My first impression was that he was one of the beggars I saw at the entrance of the Masjid.

The man reached where I was seated; he greeted me and I replied back to him while still being seated in the same manner I described earlier, relaxing and stretching my legs.

I waited for him to start by telling me how miserable his life is, like beggars usually do, but he didn’t.

Rather he started by praising the topic of my Khutbah!! I though to myself: ‘A new method of begging! Start by showing that you understood what was mentioned in the Khutbah so that my heart would soften?!’.

Then he said: “But I have some remarks about your Khutbah, so I hope you do not mind listening to them”.

I said in amazement, while still sitting in the same manner: “Remarks on my Khutbah!! and you are the one that will point them out?!”

He replied: “Yes”.

I said: “In what aspects of the Khutbah?”

He said: “In the Language, Hadith, and Tafseer”.

After that I honestly, stared at his face in astonishment, and said: “And to what extend is your knowledge in these sciences?”

He introduced himself to me, he was a graduate of Dar Al-‘Uloom and specialized in Islamic Sharee’ah. He had completed several papers/studies on Tafseer, and he studied along side several known scholars.

I looked at the people around me in the Masjid and they nodded their heads, affirming what the man was saying.

At that point I sat straight, and crossed my legs, and said to the man: “And what are these remarks you had, my dear respected sir”.

He said: “As for the language, you have used some words of the ‘Amiyah (slang) and that ruins the nobility and sublimity of the Khutbah” (he kept speaking to me about the importance of the Khatib using the proper language, with words that increased my love to our beautiful language).

“As for the Hadith, you quoted some traditions and mentioned the source of some, but didn’t do that for the rest. Also how can you quote a tradition and refer it to Abu Dawud, while it is in Bukhari don’t you know that this is something that relegates the status of the speaker”. (Then he kept speaking to me about the methods and manners of the scholars of hadith, which increased my love for the Science of Hadith).

“As for the Tafseer, you mentioned some statements of those who interpret the Quran by their opinion, so beware when speaking about the Book of Allah and do not be like a night-time woodcutter (lumberjack)”. (Then he kept speaking to me about the different methodologies used by the people of Tafseer, which increased my love to the science of Tafseer).

By that time, people had dispersed from around us.

As he was about to stand, I stood [quickly] and took his hand. I then rushed and got him his shoes, and assisted him in putting it on. He kept asking me not to. I took by his hand to take him to his home, but he swore to me not to.

At that point, I saw that we were behind a wall where no one can see us, so I took out a sum of money from my pocket, and I politely requested that he accepts it from me. Here, he got mad and raised his voice a little scolding me roughly. I apologized to him, and he accepted my apology, and said: “You might have felt sorry for me, when you saw the way I am dressed”. I said: “Yes, and I hope you can forgive me for not thinking highly of you the first time I saw you”, so he forgave me.

I told him: “Please, comfort me, how do you live and with whom?” He said: “I will answer you briefly. I have a small income, but Allah has blessed it with His Grace, and it suffices me from the disgrace of asking [others]”. I asked: “With whom do you live?” He replied: “By myself, my children and wife have already beaten me to the Hereafter” and then he said: “I want nothing from this Dunia, and my relationship with it is not that good. All I need is a dress to cover my body and a meal that would silence my hunger, and apart from that I do not need anything”.

So I fell on his hand to kiss it, and I shook his hand and walked away for a few steps. Then I looked back at where he was heading. I saw that the people are giving him no notice as he held his stick, which he used to feel the road in front of him.

As for me, I walked thinking about myself, and how upset I was when my clean white dress got stained. As I walked, cars would slow down so that I can cross [the street], and people passing would come by to shake my hands and ask me for supplications.

They were all deceived by my looks and appearance.

I remembered the statement of Prophet Muhammad [Salah Allah ‘Alaihi wa Salam], when he was between his companions and a man passed by who had the appearance of a wealthy man. So he [Salah Allah ‘Alaihi wa Salam] asked: “What do you say about that [man]?” They said: “O Prophet of Allah, he is the kind of person that when he speaks we would listen, and if he asks for our daughter’s hand in marriage we won’t oppose, and if he intercedes for someone we would accept his intercession”. Then a man who appeared poor and needy passed by, so he [Salah Allah ‘Alaihi wa Salam] asked: “And what do you say about that man?” They said: “He is the sort of person, that if he speaks we won’t listen to what he has to say, and if he requests our daughter’s hand in marriage we would oppose his request, and if he intercedes for someone we would not accept his intercession”. Then he [Salah Allah ‘Alaihi wa Salam] said: “That [poor] man is better (worth more) than all the earth filled with that other man”, Aw Kama Qaal Salah Allah ‘Alaihi wa Salam”.

Original Arabic (Note: the translation takes from the beauty of the story, but I hope that it was not totally lost.)

May Allah greatly reward the Shaykh for this story[ameen]

Non-Muslim Swiss Businessman Builds Minaret In Protest

SWISS BUSINESSMAN BUILDS MINARET IN PROTEST

Saudi Gazette

BUSSIGNY, Switzerland – A Swiss businessman appalled by his fellow countrymen’s decision to ban minarets has extended a chimney above his company building into a minaret in protest.

“It was scandalous that the Swiss voted for the ban. Now we have the support of all the far-right parties across Europe. This is shameful,” Guillaume Morand, who owns a chain of shoe stores, told AFP.

The businessman, who is not a Muslim, explained that the he had constructed the mock minaret at his building near western Switzerland’s city of Lausanne in protest, and at the same time, to “send a message of peace.”

More than 57 percent of voters upset opinion polls and defied their government by approving the right wing motion to ban minarets. The outcome of the referendum brought by members of the hard-right Swiss People’s Party (SVP) and other right wing groups was also hailed by anti-immigrant party leaders elsewhere in Europe.

Morand blamed other political parties in Switzerland for not having campaigned against the far-right motion ahead of the referendum.

“They were all against it but they did not explain the issue clearly to the country,” he said, pointing out that only the SVP’s controversial poster campaign was visible.

Morand said he viewed the ban was all the more “scandalous” given that Switzerland actively encourages Arabs to “visit the country and to spend their money here.”

The minaret, which has been in place since Tuesday, has “generated a lot of interest,” he said, adding that he will wait and see before deciding if further action was needed to push his point. – AFP

Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah Sponors 50 Deaf People For Hajj

King sponsors 50 deaf people to come for Haj
By Salman Al-Sulami
MAKKAH – King Abdullah, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques, has this year paid for the Haj of 50 deaf people from 10 countries around the world.

Abdul Rahman Al-Fehaid, the supervisor of the program, said the pilgrims have been able to move around easily and perform the necessary rituals.

“These people have come from 10 countries and they were hosted by the King of Humanity, who helped them to achieve their dream of performing Haj. We explained to them the method of performing the rites. Thanks to Allah, things have moved smoothly.”

Issam Al-Sharqi, a 28-year-old deaf Canadian national of Tunisian origin, said it has been a dream come true for him.

“After turning 15, I immigrated to Canada. There I learnt English and French in six months. I also obtained a high school certificate and joined an institute specializing in teaching electronics. Now I hold a technical certificate. Later, I got Canadian nationality by a verdict from the courts. I am working at an institute for the manufacture of planes. I longed to perform Haj and my dream has come true.”

Fahd Bin Numay, a Saudi national, said he lost his hearing ability because of a fever when was a baby.

“I lived as a deaf person and I used to help my father at his farm in Hotat Sudair. When I grew up, I moved to Riyadh and was admitted to school. I obtained a secondary school certificate and married. Then I worked at the Ministry of Finance. I have been blessed with seven children and my eldest son is studying at university.”

Ali Yusuf from the United Arab Emirates (UAE) said he was born in Sharjah and has been deaf since birth.

“I relocated to Kuwait where I learned how to type and got a certificate. After that I returned to Sharjah and worked at the municipality. Whenever I asked a girl’s hand in marriage, they would reject me because I was deaf, so I decided to go to India. Now I’m working as a second lieutenant in the UAE Ministry of Interior. I was gradually promoted by the military and retired with the rank of Major.”

Al-Fehaid, who supervises the group by using sign language, said the program has been running for the past 22 years.

“The program is conducted at the expense of King Abdullah, Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques. Every year we choose 50 deaf people to perform Haj. We are keen that it should be, by turn, between men and women every year. However, women have to be accompanied by a Mahram.”

“Every year about 300 deaf people submit applications to perform Haj and we choose 50 of them by draw. We provide them with various cultural programs, contests and lessons on Haj and Islamic education in sign language.”

Among the pilgrims who have come on Haj is a family consisting of a father, mother and eight children, who are all deaf. At their home, the father uses lights as a language to communicate with his children and wife. – Okaz/SG