A sister has given me permission to publish her reflections on things that happened to her and how she’s more grateful than ever masha’Allah.
Tara Umm Omar
Well being muslim I use the hijri calendar for most things. I also do not celebrate holidays except 2eid & ramadhan. Yet I live in america and have 2use gregorian calendar2.
This year went by fast. So fast that the painful memories of 2008 are still fresh in my mind.
It seemed all things were going out of control and i was in much pain, both physically & emotionally.
Which brings me to the gratitude I have today. Allah has had so much mercy on me & my family. I sometimes think “why can’t I just forget the bad things that happened”. I’ve come to realize that remembering those bad things, remind me of my Lord’s Greatness & His Mercy upon His servants.
People went to such great lengths, and did things that can lead them to hellfire, just to hurt me & mine. I mean evil schemes, that you couldn’t even pull out of a soap opera! Yeah thats hateful. Yet looking back at where I was december 08′ & where I am now December 09′, is proof, all I had to do was ASK ALLAH. I asked him, no plotting, no threats, no oppression, no lying, stealing, betraying, or cheating others. I just asked Allah, and He has helped me. Things were so bad that i did not even know what to ask for, I just said “Help me Allah, just Help” and ALLAHU AKBAR, He helped. I can see so much clearer now than before. I am much more focused subhana Allah. Things are so much easier to understand.
This has made me appreciate my life and have a completely different outlook on the trials of life. ALLAHU Akbar, maa shaa Allah tabaarik.
Through this I’ve learned to appreciate my mother & father. I love my parents for Allah’s sake, maa shaa Allah. Yeah we have our disagreements. stubborn ol’ folks,lol, but they’ve been there for me my whole life as much as they knew how. Even in my adulthood, though they were apprehensive about me marrying an american due to, sorry but bad reputation americans have when it comes to marriage, they NEVER tried to hurt my marriage. My parents supported us the whole time and they love my husband like he was their son, maa shaa Allah tabaarik. They have always been patient with him being a revert & since he has no father and his mother well, we won’t go there. My father has always advised my husband as a father, with sincerity,to help my husband become a better man. My parents always advised me to be a pious wife & respect my husband. When things got rough & they saw others trying to tear us down, they stepped up. They defended us and encouraged us to keep fighting. They even showed their gansta’ side,lol, to defend us. My husband loves my parents like they were his own. Correction as he says “they are dearer to me than my mother” ,maa shaa Allah. Thats rare.
These trials have made me see just how wonderful my siblings really are. May Allah help & guide them all along their way,amin. Yes they get on my nerves, but I love all four of my sisters & my only big little brother, for the sake of Allah. They may not always say things the right way,as we all say stupid things. However, they have been there for us and broke our fall, sometimes as they where getting up from a hard fall themselves. I really do wish them the best in this life & the akhira. May Allah grant them all pious spouses and me a bunch of healthy nieces & nephews from them,amin.
I lost 2 grandparents this past year. My grandfather who I was not really close to but Allah guided him to repent and seek our forgiveness & Allah’s forgiveness,before taking his speech & finally his life. Before him, I lost my paternal grandmother,at one of the most trying times of my life. She was always there to remind me of Allah & how good I really had it. She always helped me to focus on the good and praise Allah for it. She always aided me in having patience upon hardship. I miss them but I did learn a great deal from them especially my Nena. What I learned can aid me in this life & the akhira,bi idhnillah. May allah have mercy on all three of my dead grandparents,amin.
From dec.08′ til now, I have lost friendships with people whom I thought were dear friends. Some I loved like they were a mother and they betrayed me. Others i went out of my way to help but yet again the hated to see me with any good,so they plotted & schemed to bring me & mine harm. I trusted them & they aided my enemies against me. I mean their actions caused, loss of wealth, harm to loved one’s and almost my death.
Yes it hurt like heck but Allah has taught me the real meaning of doing things for HIS sake alone. I am not so hurt at their betrayal because whatever I’ve done was not for them it ws to please Allah. Their harming me puts them in the wrath of Al-Adl wa Muntaqim. I kind of feel sorry for them.
Allah has also replaced them & brought back some old but true friends to step in even when life was going nuts for them. He also gave me some great new sisters in my life. Some i never even met in person. Sisters who supported me, aided me with the book & sunnah, and always made dua for me. Sisters who invigorated my iman with reminders from Allah that kept me fighting. Sisters who felt my pain not rejoiced at it. Sisters who were not affraid to hear me cry & yell. Sisters who reminded me to take it down because “we aint got no bail money”,lol. I’ve had some really old friends back in my life, from so long ago i am feeling the close of my 29th year on this earth,lol. They are a reminder of the silly things we worried about in our youth. Most importantly, of all the hardhsips we went through, we still made out OK.
Last but absolutely NOT least I’ve learned to appreciate my husband & children and be more grateful for them. My dad reminded me when i was griping about turning 30 “alhamdulillah Allah let you live this long. You are doing better than many girls your age. You’re married going on 12yrs to a man who loves you & his children,and works hard for you, you have 3 wonderful children and you are a good,wife,mother & daughter & sister”. Thats was sweet, especially since he still calls me “girl”, love my dad,maa shaa Allah. My children get on my nerves but they are the sweetest when i am feeling down & the most forgiving human beings I know. They make me feel beautiful and incredibly productive. I love my flattering lil baby bears, maa shaa Allah.
My husband really reminds me of my dad too with his dedication to our family,maa shaa Allah tabaarik. Seriously he has been an absolute trooper through all this mayhem. He’s suffered through a great deal of fitan from shady, lowly, ghetto, munafiqeen(hypocrites), only because he wanted to be a good salafi muslim, husband & father. He’s had many doors shut in his face,and fell a few times. Alhamdulillah, he always got back up, with a determination to do even better and eliminate all obsticals, even if they were so-called family. Everytime I wanted to quit he reminded me WHO is the reason i was fighting in the first place, Allah. He NEVER tried to make himself come before Allah. He upheld & defended my honor and protected me & our children with all he had. If he had $1 he gave it to me & the children. I can really go on & on about how good he’s been to us but he doesn’t like that so I won’t.
He worked hard during our whole marriage for meager wages. I tell you this, he is the richest man I know,maa shaa Allah tabaarik. since he will be reading this, he better know if Allah tests us and he falls again, my hand will always be in reach to help him back up.
I am sleepy and maybe this isn’t the most well composed or eloquent piece of writing. But I mean it. so, no we do not celebrate new years, but every new year, every month & every new day look back and see just how you are improving and thank Allah,and show gratitude to him, and to those great people He put in your life. Thnx 2 all 4 being in my life even if it didn’t go passed sharing an ayat, hadith or other wise words! May Allah preserve our marriages, families & friendships,amin. May He give us the good in this life & akhira,amin. barak Allahu fikum for reading my heart pouring.